Martin Scorsese: Yes, what do you want?
Isaiah: It's me, Isaiah Washington, the actor from Grey's Anatomy.
Isaiah: Wait, don't hang up, I just wanted to congratulate you on your Oscar. That was pretty impressive. I just wanted to know how you pulled it off.
Scorsese: What do you mean?
Isaiah: Well, you see, I was caught uttering a few homophobic slurs the other day, it was really like, only twice, in public, and my career was almost wiped out by a bunch of angry fags. I even had to do time at a homophobe rehab to get out of the mess. I almost lost my job (it was all kind of easy in the end though, I must admit). But you, you get four Oscars for your movie, which is full of "faggots", "cocksuckers" and whatnot. The academy even gave an Oscar to the guy who worked on the screenplay, William Monahan. How did you pull it off?
Scorsese: It was actually pretty simple, fool. First you need to have some talent and be able to do a good, or at least decent, movie. Then, all you need to do is have the characters slur and cuss, get it? You can't say the words yourself, that would be too obvious. What you should do is, you should just ask the writers to include whatever you want in the lines of the characters; with that trick, you can get away with anything and your cussing and hatred will actually be more effective. Seriously, people might even say the dialog sounds more real with the macho-homophobic cussing.
Isaiah: I see.
Scorsese: You might still get a few angry fags after you, like that damn Queer Beacon, but the fags will just be ignored, the criticism will die down, and you're on your way to some Oscars. Got it, kiddo?