Queer Beacon

The Break-Up (2006) - LightShed 6

Better than mediocre, but not quite good.  Unfortunately, you will have seen most of the good lines in the various trailers that were out for The Break-Up.  I hate when they do that.

Here, J.Anis is sick of her macho-clown boyfriend, played by Vince Vaughn. He always gets what he wants, she does everything for him and he doesn't care...you know the type, right?  So she breaks up with him.  You will actually want them to be apart, they have nothing in common.

We had quite a bit of content for our gay movie review.  If it had been all positive the movie would have gotten a high LightShed score, but it wasn't.  Read on.

The first scene with gay content happens early in the movie.  In that scene, Vince Vaughn's brother, played by Cole Hauser (pic on the left) is about to tell a joke about gay Eskimos and a black guy.  Vince stops his brother before we can hear the butt of the joke but we are lead to believe the joke would have been both homophobic and racist.  We also learn later than Cole is a total idiot.  So his being a potential homophobe is not bad for us.  It's good that they mingle racism and homophobia in one person because I think the traits belong together.

Later, in a heated argument between Vince and Jennifer Aniston, Vince discusses some of the issues in J.Anis' family, and the issue of her brother's gayness comes up:

Vince is nice about it actually, saying that her brother should just be strong and come out, rather than marrying and having his wife find him out in bed with a guy named Julio.  I thought that was nice.  What I didn't really like was the fact that J.Anis went like: "My brother is not gay!"

You saw it all on the trailer.  She doesn't say it so much like it's a bad thing, she might have been just denying her brother's gayness in a matter-of-fact kind of way, but still, J.Anis' character could have had a much better reaction.

Also, in the movie J.Anis works at an art gallery.  Her co-worker at the gallery, played by Justin Long (pic on the right), is quite obviously gay.  He looked gay (if you tell me there isn't a gay look you better stop reading this blog) and at one point he makes a comment about a rich hot guy (emphasis on the hot part).  J.Anis does not treat her co-worker well at first, and this was bad (she scolds him over the way he answers the phone), but she stands up for him in a small incident with the owner of the gallery.  So we're even.

Before I forget, am I the only one who thinks Vince Vaughn is hideous?  Not ugly, fugly.  The worst part is that I was told more than once that I look like him.  Well, I was also told before that I look like Ronaldo (the soccer player) and Xuxa (the swimmer).  Mostly I don't know if people want to offend (my look-alikes are all fugly) or compliment (they are mostly super talented).

White Oleander (2002) - LightShed 6

Good movie.  All tragic but good.  The movie was so sad that I couldn't cry (I had a similar reaction to Dancer in the Dark). 

In the movie, Alison Lohman is a young girl going through foster homes after mommy Michelle Pfeiffer kills a guy out of craziness, bitchiness and jealousy.  The Pfeiffer is an artist, all full of sensibility.  Robin Wright Penn and Renee Zellweger are two of Lohman's foster moms.

The acting was very good across the board.  Lohman was the star of the movie, everybody else pretty much had cameos, even The Pfeiffer had a smaller role than I had anticipated.  She was stunning though.  Beautiful beyond belief, seriously:

Now to our gay movie review.  White Oleander did not have much gay content, but the little gay content it did have ranged from neutral to positive.  In one scene, this guy asks Lohman if she is gay.  Lohman asks why, and the kid says he thought she was gay because she did not seem to be interested in guys.  She confirms she is not interested in guys.  Cute.  Later on, she says she is not gay but she says that because she wants to kiss the guy, not because she felt the need to deny the 'accusation' or 'protect' her reputation.  That was all pretty positive, she wasn't offended because the guy thought she was a lesbian, and the guy did not look like he would have a problem if she was indeed gay.

In another scene, The Pfeiffer makes a joke about her not having much time for her art in prison because she needs to constantly "fight off sexual advances."  Light joke, pretty neutral I thought.

This post was written for the Pfeiffer blog-a-thon.  She turns 48 on April 29.  She was 44 when she shot White Oleander, can you believe it?

Check back soon for additional links honoring The Pfeiffer.

Stay (2005) - LightShed 6

Better than mediocre, but not quite good. 

Here, Ewan McGregor is a psychiatrist.  Ryan Gosling becomes his suicidal patient.  Naomi Watts plays Ewan's girlfriend, she is an artist.  Ryan is an art student.  Ewan goes on a quest to prevent Ryan's suicide.  There's some crazy stuff in the middle of it all.

We have a bit of gay content.  In one scene, Ewan is reading a great review of Ryan's art work, and Naomi is able to guess that the review was written by a professor who is famous for sleeping with every cute boy in class.  If you think about it, the gay content is not so nice because it involves a professor sleeping with a student.  Not too ethical.  But Naomi says it in such a matter-of-fact and non-judgmental way that I couldn't really see it as negative.  So, I'll consider it a plus.

Also, in one scene, Ewan is looking for Ryan and he goes to talk to Athena, a girl who is possibly Ryan's girlfriend and may be able to help Ewan in his quest.  She is in the middle of a mini-rehearsal for Hamlet, and after the rehearsal is done, Ewan asks her if she is playing the role of Hamlet.  She says she is because it's a lesbian version with only women in the cast.  She was kidding, but I'll take it as positive content anyway. 

The real Athena was not easy to find.  All Ewan had was a first name and the fact she worked in a diner on this particular street.  So Ewan goes around several cafes in that street to find her.  Before getting to the real Athena, he finds a very butch Athena, working as a butcher.  Ewan didn't even ask if she was the right Athena or if she knew Ryan, he left right after he laid eyes on her, maybe because she was too ugly for Ryan, or maybe because she was obviously not interested in guys.  Anyway, we had no hard evidence on the butch Athena, so I'll leave that scene out of our gay review.

There were some good, mellow, tunes in Stay.

You can rent the movie, it'll keep you interested, just don't expect a Memento.

Yours, Mine and Ours (2005) - LightShed 6

Mediocre movie.  You can rent it, it is upbeat, but the movie doesn't go very far. 

Here, Dennis Quaid is an admiral with 8 kids.  Rene Russo is a purse designer with 10 kids.  They were high school sweethearts, they meet again and get married.  For a total of 18 kids.  The movie is about bringing a large and diverse group of people under one roof.  One group is all about love, the other group is all about rules.

We have a very important type of gay content here.  One of the kids, who is around 8 I would guess, played by Andrew Vo, displays some very characteristic traits, easily associated with the gays.  Check out the description of his character on the movie's official website:

Do we need more evidence?  The movie never mentions whether he is indeed gay or not, but come on. 

I thought it was great.  Even greater because of the stereotypical gay manners.  Visibility is key people.  Without the queens, we'd be nothing.  Seriously.  Oh, and I have seen kids like that.  If that's not gay gene, I don't know what is.

In the first scene with Andrew Vo, right in the beginning of the movie, Rene Russo asks his opinion on a purse she designed.  Of course he has a witty homo remark.  Something about Gucci and better in gold.  His mom says something like: "Oh, how can someone say he is not my son?"  You tell them Rene. 

Later on our little Ryan Seacrest gets all tough to protect his even smaller brothers.  Super cute.  100% queen.  100% attitude.

There were a few negative episodes but I think they were countered by the great portrayal of the gay son.  In one bad scene, one of the 18 kids is plotting an end to their parents relationship so that the kids can go back to separate, less crowded and less diverse, houses.  In his plot, he says they should do something really gross, like have some sibling make out session (that would be Sean Faris with a girl).  They go "ew."  Then the same kid keeps on elaborating on his plot and says they should actually do something even grosser, have two sisters make out.  Not nice.  It should have been just as gross as the straight brotherly love.  Not sicker. 

Also, when going through a laundry basket, a kid finds some sexy panties and asks a brother whether the panties were something he (the other brother) forgot in the basket.  That was not nice either. 

Finally, in one scene, two little brothers drag together and parade in front of daddy Dennis Quaid, and he looks a little riled up.  This was also part of the plot to get Rene Russo to fight with Dennis Quaid and split.  But come on Dennis, let your boys dress the way they want too.  So that was not so bad, but it was bad. 

Again, I'm sticking to the positive light from Andrew Vo, but reducing the LightShed score, which would have been higher without the negative remarks. 

A few more pics after the jump (yes, shirtless Dennis Quaid).

Everything is Illuminated (2005) - LightShed 6

Good movie.  Here, Elijah Wood is a young Jewish American guy in a quest to find the woman who helped his grandfather flee from the Ukraine during World War II.  Eugene Hutz plays the guide with a bad case of broken English.

In one scene, Eugene Hutz claims to be so tall that only a lesbian could be taller than him.  He also says lesbians like 69 (where did he get that from?). 

Later on, in a conversation with Elijah Wood, Eugene wonders if there are women accountants and accountants of African descent in the US.  Elijah responds affirmatively, and Eugene wonders further if there are homosexual accountants.  Elijah says something like: "Of course there are, there is homosexual everything, even garbage men."  Yay!  Go Hobbit!  Great light, even if there was not a whole lot of gay content there.  I mean, it would always be nice to have gays remembered in holocaust related movies.  Kudos to Liev Schreiber anyway (he was responsible for the screenplay).

Punch Drunk Love (2002) - LightShed 6

Excellent movie.  Here, Adam Sandler is a small time businessman, bored with life.  He collects coupons, calls a porn line, and pursues Emily Watson.  Everybody is excellent.  Philip Seymour-Hoffman's cameo is brilliant.

Adam Sandler's sisters call him "gay boy," just to annoy him, I guess.  His reaction to the name calling is very natural, as though that didn't bother him, not a problem.  He does go postal for another reason.   Get out now, go rent this movie.

The Libertine (2004) - LightShed 6

I saw it Friday night.  The movie is excellent.  Here, Johnny Depp is John Wilmot, the Earl of Rochester, a poet / playwright consumed with himself and life.  Samantha Morton is his favorite actress.  He falls for her big time. 

The acting is superb, Johnny, Samantha, and Rosamund Pike (she plays Johnny's wife in the movie) are truly great.  John Malkovich was the king who kept asking for Johnny Depp's favors, he was ok. 

The movie is grainy, artsy, dark.  Everybody is ugly (except for Rosamund, she is sassy), I guess to reflect the living conditions in the 1600s.

Right in the beginning of the movie there's this awesome monologue, and Johnny Depp warns the ladies in the movie theater that they should not want to mess with him lest they be put through a sex ritual which is too intense for them to take.  He provides the same warning to the men in the theater.  Yay!  Less clear is Johnny Depp's relationship with one of his male actors (played by Rupert Friend).  He caresses the actor at one point and is seen in his arms in one scene, but no real man-on-man action though.  Get out now, go see it.

Date Movie (2006) - LightShed 6

You will have some good laughs and you might actually like this movie if you know exactly what it is: a patchwork of references to other movies and celebrity newsworthy moments, a lot of which are forced into the movie without much context.  Here, Alyson Hannigan is a big boned -- as in dinosaur big boned -- young lady in search of her prince charming.  The prince charming is toad Adam Campbell.  A few good rap songs.

Gay content was peppered throughout the movie, quite constantly, but in somewhat contradictory manner.  Some references just sought a cheap laugh, but I was actually expecting most of them to be of this sort, but, to my surprise, the majority of references were closer to a positive light.  I counted the references, and the positive balance stood out.

The positive scenes include (i) a fat guy dancing with another fat guy; (ii) the fact that this one date specialist (a mini-me version of Hitch) claims to have hooked up a bunch of couples, all failed couples, including Jennifer and Brad, Ellen and Anne Heche, Matt and Ben; and (iii) reading into the mind of an older guy who is into Puerto Rican men.  Also, the lead male character might have been a female to male transsexual, but this is not clear.  All these was portrayed in a pretty positive light.  The borderline scene included a revelation that the lead character lost his virginity to a house maid (played by Venezuelan Mauricio Sanchez), and the negative scene included a kid who did not want to be dressed like a cowboy (it is implied that it is due to the obvious reference to gayness of Brokeback Mountain).  A Michael Jackson reference was also in the movie but I believe that any non-retarded moviegoer would see the big difference between Michael Jackson (portrayed as a bad guy here, of course) and the gays.  So I'm leaving the Michael Jackson part out.

Sideways (2004) - LightShed 6

  This movie is excellent!  You gotta see it if you haven't already.  Here, Paul Giamatti plays the best friend of Thomas Haden Church, who is about to get married.  For his bachelor party, Thomas chooses to spend a weekend in the wine country in California.  They meet two girls.  Everybody is great in the movie.

Our gay content is small but nice.  In one scene, when Thomas is saying that he still looks good, he says he still attracts the attention of quite a few women, and men.  He says it proudly.  He should.  Hell, buy the movie.

Mr. and Mrs. Smith (2005) - LightShed 6

Good blow up movie.  Things blow up all the time.  Here, Angelina Jolie plays the wife of Brad Pitt(lucky bitch).  They keep a big secret from each other (they both kill people for a living, how sweet is that?).  Their marriage is not going well.

Our gay here has a very brief (hence the low LightShed score) but very positive appearance.  Our gay is one of Angelina Jolie's associates in her 'I'll kill for money' business.  At one point the geeky lesbian says something to Angelina about her girlfriend.  Angelina does not seem to have any problem with it onscreen (we know she has no problem with it off screen).  Double Yay!  Go Lesbians!  You can rent the movie but know it is a blow up movie (don't expect much else).