Queer Beacon

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End (2007) - No Gay Content

Awful movie. I was confused most of the time I was not asleep.  I was thinking I was confused precisely because I dozed off a few times (and was awaken by my husband, looking at me startled -- as in "are you going to review the movie or not?"), but more people (who I assume did not sleep) were also confused by the plot. 

Here's the yahoo! description of the shitty story: "Will Turner (Orlando Bloom), Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley) are allied with Captain Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) in a desperate quest to free Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) from his mind-bending trap in Davy Jones' locker, while the terrifying ghost ship, The Flying Dutchman and Davy Jones, under the control of the East India Trading Company, wreaks havoc across the Seven Seas."

I guess you really need to have watched (and remember well) the previous installments.  One thing the movie does deliver, though.  The special effects, especially the open sea battle scenes, are awesome, I must admit -- so if that's all your after, you will probably enjoy At World's End. 

Even though Johny Depp's Captain Sparrow is sounding gayer than ever, there's no gay content in this installment.

Premonition (2007) - No Gay Content

I think they edited Sandra's cigarette out of the movie, isn't that sort of weird?  You could see she was smoking or had just finished a cigarette, but you don't actually get to see the actual smoking going on, I bet they caved to the demands of those movie-rating bitches; but don't fret, that's not the only weird stuff going on in Premonition. 

I liked the movie.  With Sandra's performance here, in Crash, and in Infamous, I am starting to think she can actually act.  I used to be annoyed by her, but she totally pulled it off in those three movies.  In Premonition: She.  Mad. 

Really.  Toally mad.  And you'll buy it.

Here, Sandra is all hot and heavy with Julian McMahon (they're married), when all of a sudden she starts to experience some weird shit, like a visit from a cop telling her that her husband is dead, only that he isn't.  Or is he?  It's all crazy, a bit confusing, but good.

Almost no skin from Julian McMahon, except for a short shower scene, and no gay content.

Parting Glances (1986) - LightShed 10

By Guest Reviewer Jockohomo

Director Bill Sherwood died of complications due to AIDS in 1990, but his 1986 film Parting Glances was one of the first American movies to address the AIDS-HIV pandemic and many film critics consider it an important movie in the history of gay cinema. The bittersweet romantic comedy is a realistic look at urban gay life in the 1980s, and the then relatively-new disease plaguing the gay community.

Parting Glances occurs over a 48 hour period, with many of the scenes at a farewell party for Robert hosted by the couple's friend Joan (Kathy Kinney) and at a dinner party hosted by Robert's employer Cecil (Patrick Tull) and his wife Betty (Yolande Bavan); who have an unconventional marriage. The heart of the story revolves around a longstanding Manhattan gay male couple, Robert and Michael, who are in their late twenties and live in New York City, Robert (John Bolger), works for an international health organization and is about to leave for two years on a work assignment in Africa while his partner Michael (Richard Ganoung), a freelance editor stays behind. Michael's ex-boyfriend Nick (Steve Buscemi), for whom Michael cooks meals, looks after, and is still in love with, has AIDS.

Technically a drama, the film is comedic yet touching, the pacing and realistic dialogue lend authenticity to the portrayal of gay and gay friendly urbanites in the long gone Manhattan of the 1980's. While Silence=Death stickers designed by Ken Woddard started to proliferate ominously on the city streets around 1986/87 it's another four years before we see the film "Longtime Companion" and another seven before we have the even higher profile piece "Philadelphia".  Parting Glances was also one of the first motion pictures to even address the term HIV-AIDS and it is done so frankly and honestly.

Parting Glances gave both Kathy Kinney and Steve Buscemi their first major movie roles. Janet Maslin in her New York Times review said of Buscemi, "It is to both his and the film's credit that the anguish of AIDS is presented as part of a larger social fabric, understood in context, and never in a maudlin light."  Kinney, well known for her roll as Mimi on the Drew Carey Show is brilliant and funny as Joan the fag hag. A special mention must be made of John Bolger for playing the roll of a gay man in a film while a regular on the CBS soap opera "The Guiding Light" and later as a sexy police chief on the soap opera Another World.

This film isn't earth shattering in terms of social justice but it is perfectly realized depiction of gay men in the 1980s Manhattan, avoiding the usual trappings and stereotypes while expertly handling the subject of HIV-AIDS. The piece resonates with the particulars and complexity of friendships, life and love. Sometimes biting the scenes are equally funny as they are sad. There is a great scene that contrasts a seasoned gay man with a younger more idealistic gay man, a brilliant play between growing up gay in a Pre-Aids/Post-Aids world. The true crime is that AIDS claimed writer and director Bill Sherwood before he could make another film. Sadly this was his only movie, a somber example of how this disease robbed the world of a generation of talented individuals. In 2006, the UCLA Film and Television Archive announced the film's restoration and addition to its OutFest Legacy Project.

Available on DVD from Amazon 90 Min. Run Time.

Outfest Legacy Project's website.

Pan's Labyrinth (El Laberinto del Fauno - 2006) - No Gay Content

By Guest Reviewer Jimbo.info

Mexican filmmaker Guillermo del Toro, creator of Blade II, Hellboy and Mimic gets serious with Pan's Labyrinth, but doesn't discard his skill with fantastic visuals.  Contrasting childhood wonder with the horrors of reality, he brings us into the two worlds of an 11-year-old girl living through the Spanish Civil War.

In the girl's fantasy world a faun gives her three tasks that will allow her ascendance to her true father's side. As her tasks grow more difficult, so do the challenges of real life with an ailing mother, a vicious stepfather, and keeping a dire secret. Sergi López plays the girl's stepfather, a cruel fascist captain, with disturbing alacrity that I hope gains him deserving recognition.

This film is definitely one to see in the theaters if it makes it to your town.

Official Website, here.  Interview with Guillermo del Toro in The A.V. Club, here.

The Prestige (2006) - No Gay Content

Great movie.  In The Prestige we follow two magicians in a huge cat-fight (sparked by a trick gone bad) in early 1900 London. 

Hugh Jackman, the sassier, classier magician, pulls a trick and Christian Bale, the roughneck genius, tries to out-trick him.  It is all very entertaining, even though I think Bale and Jackman should have solved their beef with a good man-on-man action. 

Anyway, Hugh's acting sucked a bit, but Michael Caine (he plays Hugh's coach/manager) and Bale were pretty good. 

The scenes and special effects were awesome.

We see some of Hugh's chest, but nothing from Christian.  You'll have to get that here. 

No Gay Content.  You can watch the trailer here.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (2006) - LightShed 6

If you liked the previous installment from the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise --called The Curse of the Black Pearl -- you will probably like this movie.  But, if, like me, you thought the first installment was mediocre, don't expect much from Dead Man's Chest. 

If anything, go see the movie for Johnny Depp's performance.  He is the movie.  As Captain Jack Sparrow, Johnny Depp is once again goofy and clueless, and excellent.  The movie will make you like his character.  Well, you gotta love any character inspired by both Keith Richards and Pepe Le Pew.  I think anyone other than Johnny in that role would have just annoyed me.

Remember that in The Curse of the Black Pearl (the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie), Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley were out to rescue Johnny Depp.  In Dead Man's Chest, Orlando Bloom and Keira are about to get married and they are arrested.  That's how the movie starts. 

For the couple to escape the death penalty, which they would get for having helped pirate Johnny Depp, they have to go find Johnny and negotiate a few items with him.  Johnny, of course, is in all sorts of troubles and is being chased by all sorts of crazy people, including a bunch of half-aquatic half-ghost creatures, something like the "Night of the Living Bouillabaisse."

We had a tiny tiny bit of content for our gay movie review, delivered to us in two short scenes.  Both scenes were just a little offensive, but nothing really major.

In the first gay scene, we see two sailors fighting over a woman's dress.  The captain of the ship tells them that if they want the dress they should share it, not fight for it.  Even though the tone of the captain was quite neutral and non-judgmental, all the other sailors laughed.  Silly sailors.

Then, later, Keira Knightley was pretending to be a male sailor in order to blend in with the crew of this ship.  After she got out of the ship, she was still sort of pretending to be a guy, and walking behind Johnny Depp, she asked something like :"I am looking for the man I love."  Thinking that Keira was a guy, Johnny does not turn to see who is talking, and he just sort of makes one of his weird, but disapproving, faces.  That was not too nice and that is the main reason why this movie is a Shipwreck to me.  It's sad, because Johnny Depp's Captain Jack Sparrow actually had a major gay vibe in quite a few scenes. 

Again, nothing major, but there it was, a tiny bit of bad light for us gays.

Everybody was pretty ugly in the movie, except for Jack Davenport, who played ex-Commodore James Norrington. (always click for bigger pictures)

Anyway, raking $132 million in the box office, Dead Man's Chest set the all-time record for a three-day movie opening.  The next Pirates of the Caribbean (which should be the last one) is set to be released on May 28, 2007.

UPDATE: Ronald pointed out in the comments that Captain Jack Sparrow might actually have said something along the lines of "I'm flattered, Sir," in response to Keira's "I'm looking for the man I love."  Ronald is not sure, but if he is correct, I will gladly change my rating to LightShed 6.  I already placed a question mark on my rating.  Johnny Depp mumbles a lot in the movie, but I am pretty sure he did not react verbally to Keira's looking for her man...I'll let you know (I think that might have to wait for the DVD though, I can't watch it again).

UPDATE ON JULY 16, 2006: Ronald, you were right.  My good friends at Oh La La posted my Pirates of the Caribbean review, and in the comments section there, Juno Reactor pointed to a movie clip that shows that Johnny Depp's Jack Sparrow, very clearly, says "I'm deeply flattered, Sir, but my first and only love is the sea."  You can watch the clip here.  Johnny does put on a weird face when he hears what he thinks is a guy looking for another guy, but seeing the scene again, I think the face was more of a surprise face than a disapproval face.  I continue to have a bit of a problem with Johnny's gesture to his crew member -- don't you think it's a gesture indicating Johnny Depp wants the crew member to get rid of the "gay guy"?  I'll let it go, though, in light of Johnny Depp's recent declarations. LightShed 6 it is, for the small neutral to positive light for us gays!

A Prairie Home Companion (2006) - No Gay Content

Very good movie.   

Here, an ensemble cast tells us the story of a radio show called A Prairie Home Companion.  The show is (still) aired on Public Radio in the U.S. and apparently it was a big hit.  Garrison Keillor wrote the screenplay and also played himself, the host of the show.  Garrison's story is a fictionalized account of how the show ended.  Robert Altman directed.

Our characters included Meryl Streep and Lily Tomlin as sisters in a double act. 

There was a great chemistry between them -- they could easily get Oscar nominations for their performance.  You saw a bit of their act in their presentation of the Oscar to Robert Altman:

Just in case you didn't know, Lily Tomlin is an out lesbian.  I guess you can sort of think of her as a female Ian McKellen.  Both are outstanding out gay actors.  We need more of those.

Lindsay Lohan is also in the movie.  She plays Meryl's daugther, and I was pretty surprised with her performance.  In the movie, her character is obsessed with suicide and death.  I think she has a future -- she just needs to stay away from bad movies. 

We also had Woody Harrelson and John C. Riley, both very good, as a pair of singing cowboys.

   

So, the acting was truly superb (particularly Garrison Keillor, Meryl Streep and Lily Tomlin -- loved them).  Lily definitely needs more screen time and more projects, we rarely get to see her act. 

I thought Kevin Kline and Virginia Madsen could have been better though -- they were good, don't get me wrong, but they can deliver much more than that.  Kevin was involved with the management of the radio show and Virginia was a mysterious stranger.  Virginia was a bit lost and Kevin was dull.  Well, her role was kind of weird, kind of a Woody Allen role (I won't say much more here, go see the movie). 

No content for our gay movie review, although there was one scene in which Woody Harrelson mentions something about a guy's bulge and that only someone not normal would look at it -- something like that.  That could be potentially homophobic, but I didn't really get that part, they have that small dialog while a hundred other people are talking and screaming at the same time...so I'm leaving it out.

I say A Prairie Home Companion is very good, not excellent, basically because of the subject.  The type of radio show portrayed in the movie is uninteresting to me and the flick is very much about radio.  In that sense, A Prairie Home resonates more with A Mighty Wind than with Best in Show.  Both A Mighty Wind and Best in Show deal with subjects that are as boring to me as radio is (folk music and dog shows, respectively).  Somehow, A Mighty Wind is a great movie, but difficult to watch if you are not into folk music.  On the other hand, Best in Show is a fantastic movie regardless of your taste for dog shows.  I think Best in Show was more successful in focusing on the various eccentric characters (including quite a few gay ones) rather than on the dog show thing.

Anyway, go see A Prairie Home Companion, it's definitely worth your time.

Partners (2005) - LightShed 10

Mediocre movie.  It's one of those movies that are bad but you just can't turn it off because you need to know what will happen next.

Here, a straight attorney pretends to be gay in order to lead the representation of a client.  The client is being accused of firing a guy because he is gay, so the client wants a gay attorney on their side to show that they have no problem with it.  The straight lawyer wants to make partner at his law firm, but Julie Bowen wants to stop him.  The light for the gays was excellent.  It's a pity the movie wasn't better.

Our straight attorney turned gay is played by Jay Harrington, who is on Desperate Housewives now.  Michael Ian Black is his gay roommate (Michael is the guy in the Sierra Mist Super Bowl XL ad with Kathy Griffin).  So, we have a straight guy who has no problem playing gay, living in a tiny apartment with a gay roommate.  You go girl! We also see that Jay's parents are very supportive when they find out that he is gay.

Reichen Lehmkul plays Michael's one night stand.  He shows up in a towel.  Does not utter a word.  He dates Lance in real life. 

There are tons of cliches in the movie, like when some gays say that Jay doesn't look gay enough because he has no muscles, but they are all okay with me.  You can rent the movie, just don't expect much.

Punch Drunk Love (2002) - LightShed 6

Excellent movie.  Here, Adam Sandler is a small time businessman, bored with life.  He collects coupons, calls a porn line, and pursues Emily Watson.  Everybody is excellent.  Philip Seymour-Hoffman's cameo is brilliant.

Adam Sandler's sisters call him "gay boy," just to annoy him, I guess.  His reaction to the name calling is very natural, as though that didn't bother him, not a problem.  He does go postal for another reason.   Get out now, go rent this movie.

The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio (2005) - No Gay Content

Mediocre movie.  Julianne Moore and Laura Dern, what were you thinking?  I mean, I can see Woody Harrelson fit right in with the movie, but Julianne and Laura?  The movie tells us the real story of Julianne Moore's character, a woman with 10 kids in the '50s.  Her ad writing talent was kept in the closet by an idiotic husband and society.  So she uses her talent in those various commercial jingle writing contests...Julianne Moore talks to the camera a lot.  Boring, but not that bad.